Off to a good start this week, I could barely sleep I was so excited by the prospect of starting new projects and doing new things. Thus far this is how the week went:
I took a three hour course in coding at codecademy.com. Very interesting, I learned a lot about HTML and CSS, both are used to make websites.
Posted several adds on Craigslist requesting some one to teach me how to weld. Had a response offering lessons at a reasonable rate but not till mid October...super cool.
Contacted a local farm that raises rabbits inquiring if they would be willing to teach me about the slaughter and cleaning of the animals and to my surprise got a speedy response saying this might be a possibility in the near future. Side note the dudes name that I am talking with is Hawk...that's so awesome I can't even make it up.
I watched a TON of youtube videos on wet lay-up of carbon fiber, turns out it is exactly like making fiberglass parts (done that before) so I am going to go ahead with my first project! Start with something easy? Hell NO! I'm going to start with complex curves and tight tolerances. The first project I wanted to complete for the college course was to make bike fenders so that is what I will do on my own now. Yay for amazon.com, supplies are on their way!
I made an epic video of an awesome slip and slide we made a week ago. If your curious you can watch it here.
Fun side note about resources. The internet is a beautiful place, there are so many free resources for learning practically anything, youtube for anything (I once rebuilt my motorcycles carburetor from a youtube video) Duolingo for basic language learning, Kahn academy for math science history programing and more, wikipedia for history (though at one time not very reliable now very accurate...though of course use responsibly)....and so many more! It is a very cool world we live in!
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Day One
Thank you everyone for the great support and positive feedback. I am happy to report that Monday came and went with out me going to school and with out me second guessing my decision....too much. I did however find it difficult to try and explain to people why I wasn't in class or "what exactly is it that you do?"
The first question, although a little embarrassing, was easy enough to answer, "I wasn't ready" "I really just didn't want to go" "It's not the right path/time". The second question however was much more fundamental and something I have struggled with for years.
When asked "what do you do?" I often look to Katrina (usually standing next to me when asked) and say "Well SHE is a professor at a local community college." Which inevitably leads to further questions like "oh what do you teach?" and "gosh that sounds hard, how do you do it?" By the time the person is done grilling Kat I have stealthily moved to the other side of the room or busied myself with a very entertaining piece of lint attached to my shirt. I have become an avoidance ninja able to steer even the most uncomfortable topics to a variety of different "safe" topics. I feel uncomfortable with answering the question because, although I feel like I have done some really awesome amazing things, the things I do are often hard to quantify or the job I have doesn't define what I "do". Because of this disconnect I often add disclaimers, usually eluding to future endeavors, like school or past exploits like travel or fulfilling work. It looks a little something like this:
"so what do you do?
(shit Kat is no where to be seen...avoidance ninja GO!)
"Well, I just got back from Hawaii where I was a program director for a large non profit"*
"Wow Hawaii" he says with a twinkle in his eye, imagining palm trees and sandy beaches, avoidance ninja has done his job again...but wait. "what brought you back to Washington...its so cold?!"
"hahaha, ya I get asked that a lot..." (avoidance ninja I need you!) "I'm going to be going to school in the Fall for a degree in material science"**
"very cool, wait don't you sell appliances at Home Depot?"
(I pretend to hear someone calling from other room) "sorry, hold that thought I'll be right back"***
*translation= I was important and had a job title and buisness cards and everything...I'm an adult!
**translation= I'm very studious and am looking forward to further matriculation in this fast paced exciting future world of composites, furthermore buzz word, important detail, soft chuckle of Apollo astronaut, ya know all in a days work...p.s. I'm amazing.
***translation= Bitch....I aint never coming back, don't be fuckin' with an avoidance ninja.
In all seriousness though, I have trouble answering that question because as embarrassing as it might be to admit, I care what people think about me. That statement I feel is very taboo in my generation; it's like we are supposed to forget that there are other people out there with opinions. To form opinions is human nature. Is it so wrong of me to want those opinions to be good when referred to me? I've had this conversation with other people who say "who cares what other people think?!" YOU.... YOU DO! ------> Secrets...if you have a secret (ANY SECRET) from the world it's because you care what others will think about it.
OK...that might have been a bit of a tangent but I'm going to leave it and leave you with the question: In YOUR opinion How should I respond to the question "what do you do?"
The first question, although a little embarrassing, was easy enough to answer, "I wasn't ready" "I really just didn't want to go" "It's not the right path/time". The second question however was much more fundamental and something I have struggled with for years.
When asked "what do you do?" I often look to Katrina (usually standing next to me when asked) and say "Well SHE is a professor at a local community college." Which inevitably leads to further questions like "oh what do you teach?" and "gosh that sounds hard, how do you do it?" By the time the person is done grilling Kat I have stealthily moved to the other side of the room or busied myself with a very entertaining piece of lint attached to my shirt. I have become an avoidance ninja able to steer even the most uncomfortable topics to a variety of different "safe" topics. I feel uncomfortable with answering the question because, although I feel like I have done some really awesome amazing things, the things I do are often hard to quantify or the job I have doesn't define what I "do". Because of this disconnect I often add disclaimers, usually eluding to future endeavors, like school or past exploits like travel or fulfilling work. It looks a little something like this:
"so what do you do?
(shit Kat is no where to be seen...avoidance ninja GO!)
"Well, I just got back from Hawaii where I was a program director for a large non profit"*
"Wow Hawaii" he says with a twinkle in his eye, imagining palm trees and sandy beaches, avoidance ninja has done his job again...but wait. "what brought you back to Washington...its so cold?!"
"hahaha, ya I get asked that a lot..." (avoidance ninja I need you!) "I'm going to be going to school in the Fall for a degree in material science"**
"very cool, wait don't you sell appliances at Home Depot?"
(I pretend to hear someone calling from other room) "sorry, hold that thought I'll be right back"***
*translation= I was important and had a job title and buisness cards and everything...I'm an adult!
**translation= I'm very studious and am looking forward to further matriculation in this fast paced exciting future world of composites, furthermore buzz word, important detail, soft chuckle of Apollo astronaut, ya know all in a days work...p.s. I'm amazing.
***translation= Bitch....I aint never coming back, don't be fuckin' with an avoidance ninja.
In all seriousness though, I have trouble answering that question because as embarrassing as it might be to admit, I care what people think about me. That statement I feel is very taboo in my generation; it's like we are supposed to forget that there are other people out there with opinions. To form opinions is human nature. Is it so wrong of me to want those opinions to be good when referred to me? I've had this conversation with other people who say "who cares what other people think?!" YOU.... YOU DO! ------> Secrets...if you have a secret (ANY SECRET) from the world it's because you care what others will think about it.
OK...that might have been a bit of a tangent but I'm going to leave it and leave you with the question: In YOUR opinion How should I respond to the question "what do you do?"
Monday, September 22, 2014
A Change
I had a mini break down. I don't know if that's what you would call it but this is something that happens to me every so often, I have a sudden and overwhelming feeling of being trapped. My stomach twists into knots and I have an enormous feeling of impending doom, that soon everything I am doing is going to go horribly wrong. My knee jerk reaction is to curl up, eat food and wallow in self pity waiting for what will surely be the worst week, day, month, year of my life.
What could put my existence into such a tail spin? Well...anything, as long as I see it as an "important decision" I feel the need to over analyze. Most recently, twelve hours ago, I curled up on the couch and started binge eating chips and salsa all because I got an email from a professor saying I should buy a book. Laugh if you must but this seemingly inaquous email short circuted something and really ruined the next twelve hours*. Some of you might be saying to yourselves "professor?" Ya, so I signed up for classed at the community college to study material science (its mostly about carbon fiber). This was in answer to another small break down earlier in the year where I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, but that is a story for another day. The fact is, I signed up for this awesome program because I had a good chance at a good paying job if I graduated**. Ever since signing up I have felt bad about it; it's too long of a commitment, it's a passing interest, it's too expensive, it'll be too hard, the school might be attached by extraterrestrial lizard people. Some of these concerns are more valid than others, but to say I was ever 100% committed would be a huge stretch. I think I had an easier time deciding to go to Korea! So here I am the night before starting my first day of classes in over seven years, and I couldn't do it. At the core it was a time commitment issue. I feel strongly that the only thing we have is time and how we choose to spend it is extremely important. Over and over all I could think about was being tied to this program for a set period of time and it made me feel horrible; literally sick to my stomach.
So what am I doing otherwise with my time that is so important? Not much. My current job as a dry suit repair tech entails gluing stuff to other stuff. It's not the most fulfilling thing I have ever done but the best part is the flexibility it affords me. I can go in when I want leave when I want, I just have to make sure to finish projects. For a certified commitaphobe it's a killer gig. Alas, I know myself well enough that I wont be satisfied for long not using my brain, which is why I have devised a plan....not a great plan but a plan nonetheless***. I want to learn things, actually I crave it, I love new opportunities to learn new skill as long as it doesn't come at the cost of some other experience. So my plan is to study the things that interest me, metal work, playing guitar, painting, beer, Korean, sailing, diving, writing, entrepreneurship, bicycles, small engines.....too many things to list.
I think this sounds like a good plan but there is one huge hole, how do I keep myself from being distracted after all there are so many shiny things and web pages to look at. My initial thought is a routine, but I could see myself easily slipping out of it. Maybe I could write about my adventures and post them here on a schedule so people can call me out if I start being a lazy bum...well more of a lazy bum than usual. What do you think? Any great ideas to keep me on track learning interesting new things?
Eventually I will have to find something to do as a "real job" but I'm hoping that it comes in a more organic way instead of me blindly jumping into school.
Sorry if this post was even less organized than usual, in my defense I am writing this at 4am.
*twelve hours may seem like a very short break down but this is a mini break down after all.
**This is another thought that has plagued me for many years, the idea that I need to settle down and start a career.
***What a weird word?! nonetheless? huh...
What could put my existence into such a tail spin? Well...anything, as long as I see it as an "important decision" I feel the need to over analyze. Most recently, twelve hours ago, I curled up on the couch and started binge eating chips and salsa all because I got an email from a professor saying I should buy a book. Laugh if you must but this seemingly inaquous email short circuted something and really ruined the next twelve hours*. Some of you might be saying to yourselves "professor?" Ya, so I signed up for classed at the community college to study material science (its mostly about carbon fiber). This was in answer to another small break down earlier in the year where I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, but that is a story for another day. The fact is, I signed up for this awesome program because I had a good chance at a good paying job if I graduated**. Ever since signing up I have felt bad about it; it's too long of a commitment, it's a passing interest, it's too expensive, it'll be too hard, the school might be attached by extraterrestrial lizard people. Some of these concerns are more valid than others, but to say I was ever 100% committed would be a huge stretch. I think I had an easier time deciding to go to Korea! So here I am the night before starting my first day of classes in over seven years, and I couldn't do it. At the core it was a time commitment issue. I feel strongly that the only thing we have is time and how we choose to spend it is extremely important. Over and over all I could think about was being tied to this program for a set period of time and it made me feel horrible; literally sick to my stomach.
So what am I doing otherwise with my time that is so important? Not much. My current job as a dry suit repair tech entails gluing stuff to other stuff. It's not the most fulfilling thing I have ever done but the best part is the flexibility it affords me. I can go in when I want leave when I want, I just have to make sure to finish projects. For a certified commitaphobe it's a killer gig. Alas, I know myself well enough that I wont be satisfied for long not using my brain, which is why I have devised a plan....not a great plan but a plan nonetheless***. I want to learn things, actually I crave it, I love new opportunities to learn new skill as long as it doesn't come at the cost of some other experience. So my plan is to study the things that interest me, metal work, playing guitar, painting, beer, Korean, sailing, diving, writing, entrepreneurship, bicycles, small engines.....too many things to list.
I think this sounds like a good plan but there is one huge hole, how do I keep myself from being distracted after all there are so many shiny things and web pages to look at. My initial thought is a routine, but I could see myself easily slipping out of it. Maybe I could write about my adventures and post them here on a schedule so people can call me out if I start being a lazy bum...well more of a lazy bum than usual. What do you think? Any great ideas to keep me on track learning interesting new things?
Eventually I will have to find something to do as a "real job" but I'm hoping that it comes in a more organic way instead of me blindly jumping into school.
Sorry if this post was even less organized than usual, in my defense I am writing this at 4am.
*twelve hours may seem like a very short break down but this is a mini break down after all.
**This is another thought that has plagued me for many years, the idea that I need to settle down and start a career.
***What a weird word?! nonetheless? huh...
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