Why Will America Never Win?

 If you don't want to read the whole post, probably because your American, the answer is, because we are lzy*.

So sayeth thy book of idioms:
"I have always dreamed of ___________"


Being the excellent, thought provoking, engaging teacher I am, I ask "what have you always dreamed of?"


Student A"I have always dreamed of getting good grades on tests"
Me "ummm ok good, but you can really shoot for the moon here....Anything"
Student A "I have always dreamed of getting into a good high school"
Me "ooooook lets shift gears here. Go crazy, like, I have always dreamed of owning my own jet!"
Student B "I have always dreamed of getting into a good college!"
Me "ok so let me explain this again....anything....you can dream of ANYTHING, whether it can happen or not, there is no limit but your imagination" **
Student A "No I just reallly want to get into a good high school"
Me (face in hand sighing in exasperation) "you guys need better dreams"
Student A "ya, Korea kinda sucks"
ME "??????????????"
Student A "all we care about is school"
Me "??????????????"



Different class talking about our schedules:


Student A "I go to 12 schools"
Me "ha no, you mean to say I have 12 classes"
Student A "hmmm no I go to 12 schools"
Me "like LCI *** is a school"
Student A "I know"
Me "and you go to 12 like LCI"
Student A "ya"
Me "really"
Student A "ya"
Me "really really"
Student A "ya, Math, Science, Tae Kwan do, 2 English, Chinese, Korean, Baduk, Piano, Study Session, Art, and History"
Me "......when do you sleep"
Student A "at night teacher" (completely missing the sarcasm)
Student B "How many schools did you go to teacher?" 
Me "one"
Class "mmmmmm" with a knowing nod.




So I ask you:
How do we win in the global race if this is what we are up against? They are pumping out multi-lingual-artistic-ass-kicking-machines, we produce high school graduates 82.5% ****of the time.

Tell Me what You think, leave a comment, that is if you feel up to it...





*(I saw that typo but the backspace was ALLLL the way over there so I'll just put the "a" here)
**(by the way this is the highest level class in the school and they are fluent in English)
***(that's where I work) 
**** wayyyyy higher graduation rate than I thought it was but I was too lazy to get a more embarrassing statistic about the US. 

My New Everything

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
Oh David Bowie you lyrical genius! (pretty sure that is the first time any one has written Bowie and genius in the same sentence) Bowie had it right, time is changing me, but I'm not so sure about that "don't want to be a richer man" thing, otherwise he was on the nose. Truth is this post has absolutely nothing to do with me changing and becoming a different man/boy. It is more about me getting my new apartment, my new classes/schedule, and new happenings.
I am finally moved into my new apartment. I'm really happy with the place besides the mold, the creepy yellow wall, and the thermostat that went kaput. The Ansan Cribs video summed up all that there is to be seen, minus my awesome new art.

Found on the side of the road...My guess is the honeymoon is over.

As far as my new schedule goes it is a lesson in stupidity mixed with frustration and a little pinch of grueling death march. I now work eight and a half hour days 5 days a week. This might not sound that bad BUT JUST WAIT:
Those 8.5 hours are "in class time" so that translates to "8.5 hours of screaming children"
I have a "lunch break" 80 minutes into the day, and I tend to spend it at the computer trying to figure out lessons for the rest of the day, then we plow through the rest of the day with 5 min off between 80 minute classes.
And lastly my classes have been split in such a way that I now have 2 classes every 80 min block and that means more names, more weekly plans, more grades, more tests, and more hassles.
On the plus side I am making a boat load of cash  and I got to play Bananagrams the other day with one of my more advanced classes, though......

......I was feeling a bit frustrated at the time.

And as far as the rest of my life here is a quick overview via pictures (cause frankly it's easier than typing)

 Another less than good day spurred my creativity.

 On a lighter note, one of my kids shoes says "booby" hehehe

 Here is a portrait of me drawn by Ryan with the confusing title "Ryan is a william"

 An average "neighborhood" in Ansan

 A dead fish I found outside my front door.....Oh Korea

Ansan Cribs

Today on Ansan Cribs, we get an exclusive peak into William Teachers new pad. It's sure to be off the hook!

I am ....

My Fathers Son:
For better or worse I am very much like my father. Today I woke up early on my day off to go to Costco. I didn't need anything from the monolithic super store but I couldn't resist its sirens call. The thought of bulk goods makes my hair stand on edge and a sale make my loins stir (metaphorical of course). When I returned home from my trip to Costco with 5 lbs of bacon, 1 Kg of Cream cheese, and an even dozen blueberry bagels, I promptly put away my goods then pulled up Craigslist on the ol' PC.
I search the Craigslist postings at least 3 times a day. I don't merely click the sections that I might be interested in, electronics, bikes, FREE, ect.... I click the FOR SALE button, which allows me to view all posts from antiques to video games. Why? Because I can't resist! What if there is a great deal on that something that I can't live with out?!?! Like today: Kindle in Seoul. I already have one of these remarkable devices but it's such a good deal I was considering buying it any way?!!? "Maybe some one back home would want it, maybe a co-worker, a friend! ARGHHH such a good deal going to waste....MUST....Calll.....SELLLLER.....NO...nonono control yourself!" *sigh*
Lastly I moved into my NEW apartment today, it's not quite mold free, but that is a tale for another day. While moving the most glorious thing happened. The garbage gods truly smiled upon me by saying "let there be stuff, and there was."
I happened upon the greatest pile of "garbage" (I use the term garbage loosely here because obviously all this stuff is pure gold...FREE GOLD). I scrounged 50 wire hangers, Tupperware, re-usable grocery bags, a chest of drawrs, a book case, a couch, a rice cooker, place settings for four, a pair of soccer socks, and numerous other priceless artifacts.

Spring Has Sprung

I have been asking around about the weather and all accounts have said Korea swings wildly from freeze your expletive off cold to unbearably hot. This past weekend was beautiful, so I spent it in my dark apartment reading. I am reading, Pillars of the Earth, and I can't put it down. I take the Kindle everywhere, even into class sometimes. We had tests this week so my work day was 2 minutes of giving directions then handing out tests and finally reading for the remaining 58 minutes. It was amazing.
I did pry myself away from my book long enough to go for a bike ride at sunrise with Jea Hye. I literally froze. I had ice on my gloves and hat, but then the day warmed up and I went to the park to try and join a soccer game. To my surprise the locals were more than willing to watch a white guy try and play. I ran about the field for two hours before admitting defeat. Most of the players took pictures with me before I limped away.
The weather and activities made me start feeling like this place was normal and almost like home. Of course, this being Korea, that feeling of normality was short lived. As proof of the defendants' (Korea) insanity I would like so submit into evidence exhibit #1.

Exhibit #1 is a picture of my 7 year old student named Ryan. This is his "Beat It Costume"

Exhibit #2 is a video of the 7 year old girls preforming their dance, mind you this is a 38 second excerpt from a 4 min performance.

From this evidence I believe it is obvious that this entire country is suffering from a.....I don't even know what to call it, but it is Crazy. Some readers may have noticed the lack of video evidence pertaining to my meager addition to this event. The truth is, I was Micheal Jackson, but I have yet to find a video, so until then you'll just have to take my word for it....and you aren't missing anything really.

Oh How I Love You

Let me count the ways:
My last week has been classic Korea AKA ridiculously confusing yet totally awesome. And to prove how confasome it was here are some interesting pictures and video clips. It all started a little something like this:

I joined a group of expats in a test of strength endurance and drinkatude. Below is a video of just ONE scientific test we participated in to determine the ultimate victor of the First Annual Omegathon. 

Back to work but the fun doesn't stop. Below, for a reason to absurd to utter, there is a kid in a sparkly blue track suit....he is wearing it of his own volition and is not the only one sporting this flashy new trend.

 This next clip is a charming example of the effects of alcohol indulgitude on children....(before this clip was shot the subject told me a little story, "Daddy drink Soju, Soju, Soju, then sleep real loud next day" Me "you mean he snores really loud?" *Him "ya on the floor"*) *OK so he didn't really say on the floor but the story, funny as it already is, would have been ridiculous if he had.

Off to dinner with the co-workers. Happy Birthday Anna Teacher!

 Oh I almost forgot, though how it slipped my mind I don't know, I am going to be Micheal Jackson in the Kindergartners graduation performance. Here's a sneak peek at the hilarity that I'm sure will ensue.

Today I rode in a small yellow sports car with Jee Hye and her mom to Daegu. We drove for four hours to go to her cousins wedding. Korean weddings are .... different.
 


(This wasn't a traditional Korean wedding it has been Westernized but it was still a little different...ly awesome)

 Why yes...that is a fog machine. You better believe they had a light-up-pressure-sensitive-isle too.

 I wasn't sure if the had the proper professional camera coverage so I made sure to snap a few shots so they wouldn't miss a big moment.

Can you count how many camera operators there are? The answer is at the end of this post.

 Two reasons this picture makes me happy:

1) Hanboks aka Traditional Korean Formal Wear.

2) Because she ISN'T pointing at me...few.

 This next one confused me for a second...Why is he bowing down in fear? Was the old woman pointing at him? OR Is it the giant Cake Sword behind him? I leave it to you to decide. 

Answer:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5...6 oh ya they're filming too...trick question. Nice try though.

Over all it was a silly good time even though I didn't understand a word of it. I'm having a great time and I have found that the best way to have a great time is to just say yes. This wasn't something I would usually be excited about but it was a great time and I'm glad I went. Till next time...

What the K#RE@!?

Welcome back to another episode of WHAT THE KOREA!
Today we will explore some more fun and interesting happenings in the down south....South Korea that is!


Today is the start of 설날 (Seolnal or "Lunar New Year" for all you gringo Americans) You may have noticed that I have become semi-not-illiterate. I have been "studding" Korean at a bar and a restaurant. 
The Bar is called Truck A MultiPlayground. (I am really not sure what a MultiPlayground is, but the bar is tiny, it has a loft and a cat that is shaved to look like a lion, what more do you need?) At Truck I buy the bartender, Ivy, drinks and she teaches me new words. That's right Fun Fact 1. The bartenders, on the clock, will drink with you. She ends up buying me drinks too so really I'm getting language lessons for free.
The restaurant is called Spoon, it is the most exciting combination of Kor-Mex-Lian. That's right! Now YOU can fulfill your only undying wish! (as long as your wish is to be an American ordering an Italian dish from a Korean...If it is, your life must be quite disappointing. Next time wish for a high place to step off of and save me the effort of having to write these ridiculous wish scenarios for you...you know who you are) 
At Spoon I am not only learning Korean but am constantly being made fun of by G-Hey and her Momma. Today they told me that I am dumb then invited me to come hang out with them on New Years Day (Thursday?!) Being the glutton for punishment I am, I quickly agreed. 
Fun Fact 2. Koreans don't know when New Years is?! Instead of celebrating on January first like the "normals"  they watch the stars and celebrate their pagan anti American orbital period on the the day of the second new moon after the winter solstice, unless there is a intercalary eleventh or twelfth month in the lead-up to the New Year, in such a case, the New Year falls on the day of the third new moon after the solstice. (Because celebrating on January 1st is just too easy)
That's it. Those are the big plans for my break. I'm hoping this break will be long enough to settle the urge to punt small children out closed windows with the ultimate goal of them falling on to other small children thus succeeding in hitting two children with one child. 
I know I have problems...I would seek mental help if I had state sponsored health insurance, sadly I don't because my work is screwed up. 

Till next time. This has been What The Korea!?